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‘My husband of three years sent me a text that was meant for his lover’ – Coleen Nolan

Dear Coleen

I’ve been married for three years and have an eight-month-outdated child. I believed my marriage was strong, however a few nights in the past, my husband sent me a text clearly meant for one other girl.

He talked about her title and so they have been arranging meeting as much as stroll. He additionally talked about “having some fun” and stated he couldn’t wait to get his fingers on her.

Obviously, I confronted him and he couldn’t deny it, as I had the proof alone cellphone. He claims they haven’t slept collectively, however admitted they acquired “too close”. He blamed lockdown, his job and having a new child – all the pieces and everybody however himself.

I don’t know the place we go from right here. I really like him and, oddly, our intercourse life has by no means been higher. I’m so damage, although, and don’t know if I can recover from this betrayal. I’d love some recommendation.

Coleen says

It takes time to recover from one thing like this. I don’t suppose it’s actually a question of whether or not they did or didn’t have a bodily relationship – the intention was there and if he hadn’t been came upon, it most likely would have progressed to at least one.

When this occurred to me, it wasn’t in regards to the intercourse as a lot because the betrayal of him getting shut to a different girl emotionally.

And right here’s the factor, you’ve gone by means of the stuff he’s utilizing as excuses, too – lockdown and a new child. Lots of folks have infants and we’ve all been burdened to hell in lockdown, so these causes don’t lower it.

Don’t put stress on your self to get by means of this in a single day since you gained’t. It’s going to take a lot of speaking and possibly even counselling. There must be a lot of reassurance and work from him.

But generally, though you’ll be able to forgive, you’ll be able to’t get the belief again – solely you’ll be able to know.

Maybe it’s the kick up the bottom he wants – to need to face dropping all that’s pricey to him. Finally, don’t blame your self for any of it. It’s on him.

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