‘I’m worried that my son-in-law is drinking too a lot’

Dear Richard, 

My son-in-law is 40 and is a laid-back, pleasant chap of a considerably shy disposition. He is accountable for a medium-sized company’s computer methods, which will be worrying at occasions. Ordinarily, he doesn’t say loads except spoken to.

He’s all the time loved a drink, principally lager; having a pair allowed him to calm down, open up and have amusing. Some years again he developed a outstanding beer stomach, and he determined to chop again and slim down, which he did most successfully.

However, in recent times he has developed an curiosity in whiskies, researching all of the distilleries and types like a wine buff. The stomach is again and, in my view, he is drinking far an excessive amount of.

I wish to try to discuss to him about this downside in pretty forthright phrases, so he takes it significantly. But I don’t need to spoil our pleasant relationship. How ought to I proceed?

– Brian, Yorks

Dear Brian, 

Hmm. You haven’t given me a lot to go on right here. Son-in-law used to drink lager and stopped as a result of it was giving him a pot stomach. Cut again and slimmed down. Later developed a connoisseur’s curiosity in whiskies. The stomach is again.

Is that it? What about behaviour? Work? His relationship along with your daughter? Have you truly seen him inebriated, or is it simply his tummy that you’re taking as proof that he’s drinking an excessive amount of? If you could have extra proof than that, why haven’t you instructed me in your letter?

Given this paucity of proof, I can solely counsel you do one among two issues – or each. Have a quiet phrase along with your daughter, and ask the apparent questions. If she’s shocked or offended, then let that be your cue to ease off and attempt to cease worrying.

If you might be nonetheless involved after that, although, or in case you discover that she shares your issues, then name Alcoholics Anonymous, lay all or suspect earlier than them, and take their recommendation. Confidentiality might be 100 per cent assured and both they may put your thoughts at relaxation or advise you what to do subsequent. If you could have held something again from me, don’t do the identical with them. Information is energy. Empower them that will help you do the suitable factor, Brian.

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