Dear Coleen, I’m a homosexual man in my 30s and, for a while now, I’ve been having a relationship with a man who’s married to a girl. They don’t have children, however I’m eaten up with guilt over the affair.
My lover says he doesn’t know what he desires in the longer term and hasn’t outlined his sexuality, he just is aware of he loves being with me and doesn’t need it to cease.
He claims he’s by no means had a homosexual relationship earlier than, which makes me assume he’s experimenting with me to see the way it feels and the place it leads.
I really feel actually unhealthy for his wife – they’ve been married for 4 years – however, equally, I’ve actually fallen for this man and we work on each stage.
I maintain hoping that my boyfriend will realise that he desires to be with me and ends it with his wife. But we’ve been seeing one another for a few years now and there are not any indicators of this taking place.
Maybe he’s bisexual and just desires the very best of each worlds? Every time I attempt to get him to speak about his sexuality and the way he sees his future, he just shuts me down.
So, what do I do – stroll away from somebody I’m in love with or dangle in there and hope he ultimately makes the choice to be with me?
I’m not happy with the state of affairs I’ve discovered myself in, however I’m struggling to know what to do.
Can you assist?
You’re struggling as a result of what you need to do, however you may’t convey your self to do it as a result of you might have emotions him.
You know this affair isn’t proper and, in the event you proceed, somebody’s going to get damage and it’ll in all probability be you. And, if his wife finds out in regards to the affair, then will probably be devastating for all concerned.
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Whether your boyfriend is struggling with questions over his sexuality or not, he’s nonetheless dishonest on his associate.
He’s being dishonest with her and himself, and he ought to finish the wedding if he does need to experiment sexually and be free to sleep with different folks.
Also, do you actually need to be a “test run” or an “experiment” whereas he works out what he desires from the security of his marriage?
I assume you need to finish the affair and provides him the chance to work out what he desires.
Of course, he may keep married and keep it up having affairs with males.
I get how arduous it’s to shut the door on somebody you love and who you desperately need to be with, however this man isn’t free to have a relationship with you.
Think about your self and what you deserve in the longer term – certainly that’s somebody who can commit totally to you and desires to reside his life actually?